What Would You Change?
February 2, 2010
Let me ask you one question? If money were no object and you knew you could not fail, what one thing would you change about your life?
I am really not trying to stir up discontent, but I have found that this question often gets people thinking about how comfortable they are, and about what they could do to make their lives just a little more fulfilling. You see I think that left to our own devices we like to be complacent. We like to live our quiet routines without having to move to far to the left or right of our comfort zones. We don’t like the inconvenience of having to make adjustments for others or giving up time or treasure to altruism. In short, most of us are a little selfish.
Most of us tend to be consumed with making our lives work out for the best. Few of us ever challenge ourselves in a way that might jeopardize our comfort. Yes we all need to make a living and support our families, but there are hours in the day that we use solely to recover from the mind-numbing boredom of keeping the machine that is our lives, moving forward.
So, if you could, what would you change? If you changed that one thing, would it benefit you or someone else? If you could do anything you wanted to do, what would it be? Would you change the choices that you have made to reflect a different life for yourself and for others. Would you change careers, move to a new town, get a degree, take up running, what would you do?
Whatever that one thing is, take some steps toward it. Think about ways to make it part of your daily routine. Shake up your life a little. Maybe you can’t afford to change your entire life, and maybe you can’t trade in your desk job for a park ranger’s job, but maybe there are ways to just shift your existence a little.
Why am I talking about change? Because even though we don’t like to change our routine, many of us live our entire lives in quiet desperation, feeling trapped, alone and powerless to make the necessary changes to move toward hope and happiness. I believe that within each of us is the power to change and since we do control our thinking and our actions, are the only things we can change.
Now, I ask, not what would you change, but what can you change? Do you have the courage to change what you can? Step out and change one thing you can, and then another and another…
What Are You Hoping For?
February 1, 2010
Hope is a word that holds much promise. We hope for the best, hope for a better job, hope our children will turn out okay, hope that the car will start in sub zero weather, hope for a promotion, hope for change. In fact. our president ran on a platform of “hope”. As humans we want to always believe that things will turn out in the end. We want things to change for us, so we hope for change.
The problem in life is that we often need to do more than just hope. Hoping is not alway enough to create change. Now certainly there are times when all we can do is hope. If your child is sick in the hospital, you must trust the doctors to do their job and then hope is all that is left. If your son or daughter is in a foreign land fighting to maintain freedom, you must trust God and hope she will be fine. However, in much of life we can do more than hope.
If you are looking for a better job, hoping is not enough. You may need to improve your skills, or advance your education. Perhaps you are like a lot of parents and you “hope” your kids will stay away from drugs and out of trouble. Hope is not enough, you must spend time with them, cultivate relationships that make them “think” before they take wrong actions.
The best thing about hope is that it can sustain us during hard times, but the bad thing about hope is that it is not enough to effect change on its own. Hoping for something better is only the first step to getting something better. After hope must come planning and designing that “something better”, then comes the action of making hope a reality. What are you hoping for today, and what are you doing to make your hope real?
Be Still
January 20, 2010
We all have our own way of handling uncertainty, indecision and even crisis. There is, built into all of us, a method by which we cope with all the things that life throws at us. I remember when my mother passed away, well before her age indicated that it was her time, I just kept busy. I needed to move and do things, because I have a “doing personality”. For others, there is the need to contemplate, to remember and still others seemingly fall apart, but even that is a way of coping. Rarely, do people ever deal with problems and questions or even crisis, by becoming still. Most of us feel the need to react, to grow, to change to do something. However, doing something is not always the answer.
I find that, particularly when decisions and choices weigh heavily on my mind, being still and silent are far more valuable then any of my “doing and trying”. There is something powerful, even profound, in the act of stillness. The acknowledgment that I am not in control, frees my mind and makes me let go of the temporal that I think I control. It reminds me that in spite of the value that I often place on my own resources, in the end the outcomes are in the hands of one greater and wiser. I need to lean into that more often.
That stillness awakens other possibilities. By letting go and being still, the ideas and options that the hurried, busy mind have no time for, slowly emerge to help solve problems. When we let go of our own will, we are free to be inspired by others.
The stillness also brings peace. In stillness we are open to the voice that we cannot hear when we are rushing around trying to order our world our way. Because God rarely speaks in loud places and does not appear on prime time, we never get to hear Him except when we are still. His voice brings peace and assurance of the best outcome for our problems.
In my mind’s eye, I see my stillness as sitting alone in a green pasture, by calm, still waters, with animals and flowers all around me. For you it may be in a dark corner of a library with a good book, or a quiet coffee shop or even a mountain top. But whatever your stillness is in your mind, go there often. Be still and wait for answers and inspiration. Don’t be afraid that your absence will cause the world to stop, it won’t. I have found that even if, in my stillness I find no answers, the problems I come back to are never as large as I thought.
Whatever your problems are, being still will bring them into clear focus and help you to find the answers you seek. Be still…
Encourage Someone Today!
January 13, 2010
Life can be a very lonely place at times. We go through so much and no one ever really knows about it. We wear our happy little smiles but rarely do most people feel as good as they are trying to appear. That is why one really good way to make yourself actually feel great, is to encourage someone else.
Think of all the faces that you see every day. The person who serves your coffee at Starbucks, the gal who brings you your sandwich at the lunch counter, the UPS guy who runs around your building delivering stuff, and the person at the drive-thru window at Wendy’s or your bank. All of these people are sharing space on the planet with you and many of them could use a little encouragement.
You might be asking, “why should I bother, they don’t make an effort to encourage me?”. Remember, givers gain, if you start to give encouragement you will get it back. But someone has to start. Why not tell the receptionist in the doctor’s office how nice she looks, or thank the UPS guy for always taking good care of your packages. Tell somebody that you appreciate what they do and pretty soon, people will begin to see you as someone they want to be around because you are an encourager. And that’s not all, you will feel pretty good too. When you compliment others they smile, and you smile and soon everyone is smiling and smiling is just good medicine.
Think about who you can encourage today.
What Do You Value?
January 11, 2010
When I talk to people about values during a goal-setting session, I often find their eyes glaze over. I am sure they are thinking, “this is so irrelevant to my business or my life”. However I will argue that setting goals without first understanding your own personal values, is like going skating without putting on your skates. You can still plod along on the ice, but you will keep falling down.
To understand why knowing your values is so important to the coaching process, you need to have a clear understanding of what I mean by “values”. My definition as a coach is “what are the principles that you will not back away from?” What are the beliefs that you hold that make you act and react every single day.
To set goals that are clearly out of line with your values, creates a mental stress. If you set a goal to be the top salesperson in your organization, but as a single parent you have responsibilities to your child and one of your highest values is building a strong parent-child relationship, you will spend a lot of time at odds with your goals.
Many people believe that the goal-setting process is simply figuring out what you want, deciding the steps to getting there and then writing them down and reading them everyday. And while some of that is true, we need an anchor for goals in strong values, so they stay in line with what we are all about at the core.
As you think about what you want to achieve in life, remember to first think about what’s important to you, and then make sure that you don’t compromise your values to achieve your goals. That way when you get to the finish line, you will have remained true to you.
What’s On Your Mind?
January 9, 2010
Do you ever wonder what people are thinking about? This year, in the US, we have faced some very critical problems from financial issues to national safety and terrorism. You would think that these deep weighty issues would make us a sober, serious group of people. So just for fun I went to www.searchengineland.com and asked what are burning internet search questions were in 2009. Here are the top 10 search questions.
- How much should I weigh?
- How do I get out of debt fast?
- How do I get pregnant?
- What is Twitter?
- What is Miley Cyrus’ phone number?
- What is the meaning of life?
- When will the world end?
- How long does marijuana stay in your system?
- What are the symptoms of Swine Flu?
- What time is it?
Now I will admit I have often wondered how much I should weigh, but I have never asked the internet. I don’t have enough debt to need out fast although a lottery win would be nice and I definitely don’t want to get pregnant! And I am sorry, “what is Twitter?”, really? It would be nice to talk to Miley but she is not the first on my list of people I would love to talk to, and I guess I know how people relieve stress with question number 8. I think I googled number 9 once and I am sorry but if you can google “what time is it?” can’t you look at the little clock on your computer or maybe the same people googling number 8 also google number 10.
Numbers 6 and 7 were of particular interest to me. Whenever I write about purpose, those blogs are the most often read. I think that deep inside of each of us there is a longing to know what the meaning of life is and whether or not our lives have purpose. Most of the time we cover those questions with the peripherals of life that distract us from really pursuing our purpose or our passion. It is easier to try and find Miley’s phone number that to search deep inside ourselves for the answers that could fulfill us and make our lives more meaningful. So what’s on your mind right now and what is Twitter?
What’s Your Time Management Like?
January 5, 2010
Many people think of time management as making lists and checking off tasks. But it really is much more than that. Time management is really understanding how you spend your time and then learning how to budget it more wisely. If we would think of time in the same way we think of our money we would realize that, like our money, it will eventually run out. If you want to get things accomplished in life, you must learn to budget your time.
How much time to you waste looking for things you have misplaced? How much time do you waste looking for things you thought you filed? Do you waste time waiting for children to be done an activity because it costs to much to drive back and forth? Are their pockets of time in your day that you can reclaim?
The first step in good time management is to figure out where your time is going currently. I tell clients to take a one week segment and carry a notebook with them at all times to write down what they do all day. Make note of everything, from getting up and getting ready for work or the day to brushing your teeth and hitting the pillow at night. This information is often a revelation to people, most of us have no idea how much time we waste doing unnecessary things.
I challenge you to take the test! See exactly where your time goes. For time management tips check out my web site at www.refinedperspectives.com
Setting Goals
January 3, 2010
Goal Setting for the New Year
I know that you have not really finished your Christmas shopping list yet and you are still struggling with either planning your Christmas dinner menu or how you are going to get everything done before you get to Mom’s house. But, believe it or not, this is a great time of the year to begin thinking about how your next year will look.
Some people set New Year’s resolutions, but I would rather encourage people to set some goals for the new year instead of some wishes. A resolution is often little more than a Christmas wish, where as a real goal is far more likely to get accomplished. So how do you set meaningful goals? Here are some thoughts.
1. Set some goals that get you excited! Rather than the usual weight loss goals “I will lose 40 lbs” set a goal that says “I will buy a new smaller wardrobe this year” Now that gets me excited!
2. Write your goals down someplace where you will see them and read them often. I know that seems stupid, but just try it, it really works!
3. Give yourself a reasonable time limit for completion. Obviously 40 lbs will not suddenly disappear in 30 days, so give yourself a break and make sure you give yourself time to get it done.
4. Make sure that you can achieve your goal. Let’s face it some things will never get done so face those facts and move on. Don’t discourage yourself by creating goals that have been resolutions for the last fifteen years. Writing the next great novel may fall into this category.
5. Make sure your goals are specific with a time line for completion. You want to start buying your new wardrobe by June 30th. That is specific and measurable. It can be accomplished.
6. Count the cost. If you put some lofty goals on your list, make sure you think through what accomplishment will cost you in time and resources. Don’t set goals that will be limited by your resources and things that you can’t control.
7. Find someone to be accountable to. The reason that many goals fail is that no one is holding your feet to the fire and making you move forward with your goals. Lack of accountability is often the reason most goals and resolutions for that matter, never get accomplished.
So, sometime in the next two weeks, give yourself some time to think about what you want to change about your life, business or career. Remember things will change this year, if you set some goals you will be in more control of that change. Take control, set some goals.
Drawing a Line
December 29, 2009
This is one of my favorite times of the year. Not only do I enjoy the cooler weather, but I find it to be a time of reflection and evaluation. This is the time of year you get to “draw a line” and total everything up for the year. It is the time that you get to reset the clock and say “tomorrow it all starts over”.
Although I don’t like “resolutions”, I do like to set goals for each new year. I don’t always make them happen, but if one doesn’t at least think about the future, nothing will ever change.
So what are you thinking about as this year draws to a close? What kinds of things would you love to change? Write them down, think about the changes you need to make in your life to make new things happen. Do you believe you can change? Do you believe that 2010 will be a good year for you? Share your thoughts.
Looking for a Business
December 20, 2009
As a business coach I talk to people everyday about their business or the prospect of getting into a business. With the job market the way that it is everyone is looking for a way to make some extra money or gain some control of their destiny. Most people don’t have a lot of money to invest and are therefore drawn to many forms of “business in a box” type businesses, aka, Multi-Level Marketing or direct sales businesses. The reason for this is that they usually require a low investment to start and everything they need to run a business is provided; web site, written materials, product and sales training and maybe even a product starter kit. For less than $500 in most cases, one can have a business. Just order some business cards and start your business!
The advantages to doing a direct sales or mlm business are many. One can do a MLM or Direct sales business while working at a full-time job and take the time to build the business. The business can grow as your income at it grows and therefore it is easier to control your input costs. Best of all you will get from your business in proportion to the effort that you put into it. You are in control of your destiny as far as this business is concerned.
There are a few things to keep in mind about these busnesses if one is going to reach the “money-making” levels in an MLM or direct sales business.
1. Give you business enough time to succeed. Many people get into a MLM because someone told them they could get rich in 6 months. This is usually unrealistic and your business should be viewed in a 2 – 5 year time frame. Just because a few people got rich fast, does not mean you will and many people fail because their expectations were unrealistic to begin with.
2. Tell people about your new venture. If you started a flower shop you would hold a grand opening or an open house, put an ad in the paper announcing your new location, but when you signed up to sell your product you are afraid to talk about it. Suddenly, because it is an MLM it is not important enough to let your family and friends know you are doing it. Pick a product you can get behind and talk to everyone you know about it.
3. Be professional. No matter what business you are in, be professional. Attend some networking meetings and present your product proudly and professionally and people will treat your business with respect also. Learn to talk about your business in the same way an accountant or doctor would talk about his/her business. What is the product, what are the features and what benefits will your clients receive from your product? Treating your business professionally will ensure that everyone around you sees you as a serious player.
4. Enjoy yourself! Don’t become desperate, let your business grow naturally and have fun with it. Growing your business at your own pace makes it more fun, don’t let others dictate how quickly you grow.
5. Build Relationships. It has been said that “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care”, so make sure that before you sell your products or your business to others, build some solid relationships with them so that when they buy they already trust you. Trust is huge in building a MLM and should never be bypassed. Make some friends and your business will grow.
6. Find a good coach. A direct sales or mlm is one of the hardest jobs to do. Even with the support of good upline and sponsors many people fail because so much depends on one’s own ability to self-motivate. Increase your odds of success by hiring an outside, unbiased person who can guide you and hold your feet to the fire.
In these times of economic hardship in the country, many people are turning to their own resources. Resourcefulness is what makes this country great. Creating a side income, or building a business that becomes an empire is possible because this country welcomes the entrepreneureal spirit into the market place. Is it time for you to make some changes, is this your year for success?
