Communicate Effectively

 We have all met those people who just seem to “connect” with everyone they meet.  They are good at quickly reading people.  They successfully use that skill both professionally and personally.  If you struggle to communicate your desired message, the problem may be your ability to understand how your listener needs to hear what you are trying to communicate.  

The DISC personality profile can help communication by teaching us how others need to receive information.  Many time conflicts arise either personally or professionally because we fail to recognize the predominant personality style of those with whom we are trying to communicate.  If you can recognize others’ communication style by first recognizing their personality, you will communicate more effectively.  Let’s look at close relationships first.

 D Style
D is the Dominant Personality – A D-Style is likely to show their love in a tangible way (problem-solving, providing, giving you experiences or gifts).  A D-Style is likely to want to receive love through supportive gestures and appreciative words.

  • Try to be active together.  They have forward momentum and enjoy activity
  • Take time to set goals togetherThis is something they’ll enjoy doing with you.
  • Help with the details.  They’re big picture people.
  • Try to speak their language when communicatingThey don’t have a lot of patience for the fine details and may avoid overly emotional conversations.
  • Stand up for yourself They’ll respect it.
  • Show appreciation Their time is very important to them, and they feel recognized when you thank them for their actions. Make sure they deserve it of course.  


I personalities are the Intuitive Personality – An I-Style is likely to show their love through verbal and physical expression, making you smile, and having fun, shared experiences.  They likely want to be shown love in a similar way.

  • Avoid harsh or intense tone and body language. Rejection is their biggest fear.
  • Show physical expression and give hugs.  They both give and receive love in this way.
  • Socialize or support their need for socializationTheir desire is to be with people.
  • Help them with organization and time management They suffer in this area and will appreciate your help.
  • Be romantic, expressive or creative with your gestures.  The I-Style can think outside the box.
  • Tell them how you feel.  They are great talkers and are usually in touch with their emotional side.

Is your partner an S-Style?

S is the Steady Personality – An S-Style is likely to show their love through spending quality time with you, listening, being supportive, and through verbal and physical affection.  They likely want to be shown love in a similar way.

  • Spend time with them They often show and want to be shown love through quality time.
  • Don’t make sudden, drastic changes They can adapt, but do not like or easily accept big changes.  Give them time.
  • Take time to listen to them.  They are excellent listeners.  However, they may truly open up if you give them space to talk.
  • Ask them for their opinion They are quite humble and often happy to observe your opinion, but enjoy sharing theirs when non-confrontational space is created.
  • Be thoughtful The S-Style is often thinking of others first.  It means a lot when you make a thoughtful gesture for them in return.
  • Tell them you love them or appreciate them.  They are relational and enjoy  talking one-on-one.  Verbalizing your feelings in a personal setting can go a long way.

Is your partner a C-Style?

C is the Conscientious Personality Style – A C-Style is likely to show their love in a tangible way, helping you with daily tasks, taking care of something for you, or perhaps offering a new system by which to accomplish a task. They will help you with information, examining a problem closer, and being a good listener.  They likely are looking for an appreciation for their efforts and systems, and appreciate being shown love also through supportive tasks and kind gestures.

  • Make an effort to be neat.  They have systems in place and appreciate when you recognize them.
  • Create a safe place for them to express themselves They are non-confrontational but do have an opinion.  They open up to those they trust.
  • Be specific when communicating.  A C-style will respond best to concrete examples and detailed information.  They are problem-solvers and contemplate decisions slowly and carefully.
  • Create routine. Give time for change.  They will adapt but do not like drastic changes.  It’s easier if they can understand the reasoning and logic behind it and are given time to process.
  • Relax together.  They are calm and steady people, who enjoy their peaceful time, and even their space.
  • Be thoughtful.  They will enjoy “doing” things for you and completing tasks.  Return the favor through thoughtful gestures.

(Information obtained from People Keys)

It is equally important to share this information with your partner so that they can understand your communication style to make your relationship a two-way street.  

To become an effective communicator that is able to work with any personality and get the message across to them, it is a good idea to learn more about personalities.  This information can greatly impact your personal and business relationships. Remember communication is not just being able to deliver a message, it is about being able to deliver a message in the way that your listener can internalize.  

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